Swanky pleasuredome… . Blimey
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The key to getting buy in is to keep it simple and base it on a song everyone knows.
Here’s my effort, based on Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie:
Wycombe loves ya
Defences part for ya
Nothing stands in your way
When you’re Boyd-Munce
Kits always fit ya
Eduard and Dan always merry
When you’re Boyd-Munce
When you’re Boyd-Munce
You can wear the quartered eight
When you’re Boyd-Munce
Dodds and Bloomfield check you out
You get a goal
These are your favourite things
When you’re Boyd-Munce
Boyd
Boyd
Boyd-Munce playing
Boyd-Munce works it out
Uncage the quarters
Unfurl Stig’s flag
You’re always ready to go!
When you’re Boyd-Munce
They’ll never clone ya
You’ll become first in Duff’s side
When you’re Boyd-Munce
When you’re Boyd-Munce
You can visit Kazakhstan
When you’re Boyd-Munce
Dress yourself in Lyle & Scott
You’ll be a chair
When you’re Boyd-Munce
Boyd
Boyd
Boyd-Munce playing
Boyd-Munce works it out
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That’s a lot of words for someone like me to remember…
I might manage the first four lines
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Went to first school at Shelburne. We had our deputy head, Mrs Hewitt, who also played the piano. She made us sing that song all the time in assembly after the Lords Prayer.
You’re twisting my Mullins, man, calll the coppps
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How about Fink For a Minute, based on the old Housemartins song, to reflect the amount of game time he gets.
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We’ll drink a drink, a drink
To Bradlley the Fink, the Fink, the Fink
The saviour of the Chairboys’ race
For he invented the ten-minute cameo
A substitute in every case
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That would be great - smashing tune. What about:
“Fink’s gonna win it
Blink and you’ll miss it”?
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Is this Adams Park, my football fantasy ,
Parked on a hillside , no escape till well after tea.
Open your eyes look up to the stands and see.
I’m just an old boy queuing to take a a pee.
Because I’m easy come easy go wish I had better flow.
I see a massive silhouette of a man Skura mouch Skura mouch watch him play the ball and go.
Thunder ball and lightning Doddsball was quite frightening.
ALAN BEETON, alan beeton, ALAN BEETON, Alan beeton.
Alan Smith has a home shirt put aside for me…
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This wins 
Change pee for a “Leahy”
He’s lean, he’s mean, he comes from Aberdeen, Jack Grimmer, Jack Grimmer.
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A club anthem (To the tune of Parklife - Blur) for @Chairboys80
All the players, so many players
And they go & sign for other teams
Loads and loads of teams, just not our’s!
Love the idea that the average terrace goon who screams EFFF OFFF all game is going to remember those lyrics!
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Fink rhymes with Blink, Blink 182 had a song called What’s my age again, featuring a line that no-body likes you when you’re 23 - which Finky turns in April…
That’s tenuous enough to bang in some lyrics to the tune of What’s My age again
We bought him up, it was a Friday night
@Midlander told us it was an incredible sight
His record was superb
In the under 17s
But then he turned up in the flesh…
And that’s about the time we started to get worried
Nobody likes you when you haven’t scored in 23
Especially when you’ve cost absolutely tonnes
What even is the Swiss U17 standard?
Other fans say we should give him more time
What’s his games without a goal again?
What’s his games without a goal again?
Then further on, more games in
We realise for some squads he’s in the bin
We said you’ve cost 1mill and something’s missing
This fan base looks down on a lack of badge kissing
And that’s about the time even @midlander started to get worried
Nobody likes you when you haven’t scored in 23
Especially when you’ve cost absolutely tonnes
What even is the Swiss U17 standard?
Other fans say we should give him more time
What’s his games without a goal again?
What’s his games without a goal again?
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To the tune of ‘Belter’ by Gerry Cinnamon (tempo of second verse)
..
He is a Scotsman,
Flying down the wing
He wears number 3
and he is our left back king
..
He fucked off the franchise
and he’ll terrorise the ding
When Harvie wears the Quarters
Well there’s nothing going in
He is a belter!
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I’m glad you omitted the bit about taking off pants
Kept it PC
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This is easy. The hard part is imagining him playing.
Return of the Back
There he is
Return of the Back
Come on
Return of the Back
Oh my god
You know that Back is back
He’s the man
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Leading into the Backstreet boy’s classic
Everybody
Rock your body
Everybody
Rock your body right.
Fin Back’s back alright!!
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